10 Worst breaches of Facebook Etiquette

Ask anyone what they consider the top Facebook sins, and they'll easily rattle off any number of sadly all-too-common practices that annoy most of us (innumerable baby and pet photos, to quickly name two). Yet not all faux pas are created equal. And since there's no Facebook etiquette manual — no Emily Post of social media — sometimes it can be a little tricky to know if you're unwittingly committing etiquette snafus.

A Facebook study published in a 2012 edition of the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships noted there are a host of unwritten, undiscussed rules governing Facebook use. The study, which used university-student focus groups, came up with a list of Facebook friendship rules. Following are the top five [source:Cross]:

• If someone posts on your page, you should respond.
• You shouldn't say anything disrespectful about a friend (at least not on Facebook!).
• Before you post anything on someone's page, think about how it might affect the person's relationships.
• If your friend deletes a post you've made, you shouldn't repost it.
• If a person is truly your friend, you must communicate with her outside of Facebook.

So now you know how to be a good Facebook friend. But what are some of the biggest errors you can make when it comes to Facebook etiquette, whether we're talking close friends or mere acquaintances? Let's start with the most annoying one.

• 10. VagueBooking

Maybe you've never heard of the term before. But hopefully you haven't done it. Vaguebooking is the practice of intentionally crafting a mysterious post to elicit sympathy and/or attention. "Is life really worth it?" "Someone is sure going to be surprised tomorrow!"

What's the point in such a, well, vague post? Do you think you'll sound more intriguing and interesting to your friends? Even worse, when one of your Facebook friends asks for details do you respond with, "I don't really want to get into it" or "Inbox me"? If it's that private, why post it on your wall? When Real Simple magazine asked its readers about their biggest Facebook peeves, vaguebooking got the most votes (24 percent) [source:Appenbrink].

So many people hate reading these types of messages, there's actually a website (vaguebook.org) where you can enter these posts so the world can collectively laugh —or roll their eyes — at them. If you love to write these kinds of posts, please stop. Or be prepared to see your posts possibly appearing on vaguebook.org.

• 9. Oversharing

On the other extreme are people who give too many details about themselves. Oversharing can take many forms. For instance:

• The bodily-function overshares: "I just farted." "I laughed and peed my pants!"
• The sex overshares: "Ed's going to get lucky in the sack tonight!" "Try doing it nine months pregnant. Ugh."
• The sparring overshares: "So I see from your FB photos that you weren't really at your mom's last night." "Yes I was. I went out afterward." "Riiiiiight. JERK." "I'm not kidding." "Don't bother calling me tonight."

Perhaps worse are oversharing parents. Unless we're the grandparents, we don't want to read about all of the trials and tribulations of potty-training your son, or look at 1,000 photos of Baby's first month of life. And if you're Facebook friends with your kids — especially if they're in the easily embarrassed ages — they sure don't want to read how you gotdrunk with the girls last night. Or see the angry diatribe you posted yesterday about how you wanted to staple their lips shut after they sassed you. Neither do we.

Facebook is not a good forum for discussing politics or religion.

Politics and religion are often subjects that are dicey to discuss, at least in America. People tend to have strong opinions on these topics, and arguments can get heated. That's why it's considered a breach of etiquette to post polarizing political or religious statements, like "The President is a moron!"

When you post something like this, two things will likely happen. First, you'll annoy many of your friends. Certainly the ones who disagree with you, but also people who might agree with you, but not the way you're putting the message out there. Second, you'll ignite a firestorm of nasty comments, as those who you've ticked off begin furiously posting angry rebuttals. Soon they'll turn to bashing each other, too. Is this really what you want?

If you're passionate about politics or religion and want to discuss certain topics, that's fine. As long as you post thoughtful, polite, well-reasoned comments and respond respectfully to those who disagree, even if they post a harsh reply. But think about it for a minute. Have you ever seen a thoughtful, respectful political or religious discussion on Facebook? Exactly.
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